"Make it fast you fat-ass... we'll miss the Honda City wale uncle".
My roommate calls me by that name, without even an iota of embarrassment. FYI, his body proportions go like 85-125-110.
As always, I laughed it off pitying his overblown aspirations of being able to match my athletic body frame someday!
"Come on dude. It's only 9:10. That chap comes at 9:20. There's no chance we'll miss him. Now shut up and let me concentrate... Wallet. Watch. ID card. Hankerchief. Earphones. Cellphone. All set... lets go...!"
"Dude... you forgot wearing your pants!"
"Oh my god! You are so funny Anuj! Now move you Gainda-Fool!"
We rushed towards the elevator.
"Why is this damn thing always at 0? @#$%%$TER@#@#!#!^&%#$@!", I cried impatiently.
Living at the 11th floor isn't always fun, especially when you know that your boss can fire you for entering office 5 mins late.
We finally managed our way down.
"Okay. Here's our chance. You see that car coming. Just pounce on it. I bet it's going towards Mindspace", Anuj readied himself for thumbing.
"What are you doing???", I pulled him back forcibly.
"That's against the rules! We DON'T take lift from Maruti 800's and Alto's. PERIOD", I tried to make a straight face.
"Loser… Look at the time! First you take bloody 25 minutes in the bathroom doing god knows what. And then these tantrums! I'll loose my job like this!"
"Shut up and walk. And walk slowly. Our chances of getting a lift dip drastically as we near the main road."
"Look ahead you fool. We are almost at the main road. And I see no prospective lift coming our way. You let go our only chance. Saala maruti mei nai jayega… bhaav to dekho!"
"Look behind…", I ordered Anuj trying not to show my excitement.
"Honda City!!! You sure it's him?"
"Looks like… Now get aside. My track record at this is better than yours"
I moved ahead confidently to signal for a lift.
I just raised my hand a little and the grey sedan de-accelerated to a smooth halt right in front of us. The window slithered down. A breeze of cool ambi-pur scented air gushed at us almost making us forget the formalities!
"Aaa… Sir… Cyber Towers?" Anuj stammered in his trademark extra-polite, almost fake, accentuated manner.
"Yes yes… Hop in". Pat came the reply from inside.
"Thank you sir", we both murmured - more out of habit than a feeling of gratitude!
"So… now you regularly hitchhiking?", asked the person driving, in an almost self-congratulatory tone. "You followed my advice!"
"Yes sir. We thought you were right. Haggling with 3 autos, inhaling all that pollution… It's not wise after all.", explained Anuj.
You can't beat him when it comes to articulating utter nonsense perfectly!
"I told you last time only when I first gave you lift. You shouldn't be shy. It's a duty of people like us who have a car to help people like you who have to commute daily in such adverse conditions and then slog it out the rest of the day in office. I completely understand!"
"Ya Yaaaa!" I yawned almost dozing off given the AC comfort and ample leg room. "Honda has made a fine car!"
